We point: summer work, holiday in London, incoming and operation sequence, the start of classes.
Ok.
What next? The nothing o_o I dare not imagine what will be "after" graduation, I spent all life to study, what would I be able to do "after"?
I can not imagine a different job than the designer (or something related), but I know that my skills pretty mediocre, I can dream job in the field.
And then?
will become a secretary?
A teacher?
A housewife (oh my God, that better not, I'd be the worst home that may exist on the planet!)?
Gilmore?
not know, who knows.
I just know that it is approaching a crucial moment, and I do not know how to deal with.
The panic begins to be felt ... and this is never a good thing.
What else was I supposed to be, and I think have forgotten for too long. I missed that train, unfortunately, will always remain with the remorse of having slipped into the oblivion of the disease, only true art that was strong in me.
Unfortunately, the echo of that period of denial, fear and scattered scars still echoes in my head.
But it's more like a hiss now, which is useful not to forget.
look forward to healing now.
look forward to happy times.
Other moments will be happy now that I could finally take a brush and paint on a canvas. Other
bogey that I had created, I left what I think would be my job nature.
not because I have a talent out of the ordinary or anything, but because it's something visceral.
paint, color, brush and canvas.
Even when I did not in reality, I dreamed the night.
dreamed huge canvases, and the color that flowed from within, and poured out.
I really have never stopped.
try again now that that feeling without the fear of sinking into oblivion of the disease, now is a better day.
A new birth, even if partial.
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